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Uncle:
Hey crazy lady, r u coming out this weekend?
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Me:
Yep!
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Uncle:
Excellent! Don't forget to bring me a nice gift for Father's day.
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Me:
Will do! Can't wait for my birthday present either!
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Uncle:
Is your birthday this weekend too?
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Me:
No you missed it. But I will assume you were just holding onto my present until the next time you saw me.
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Uncle:
I believe we already sent u a card full of money.
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Me:
Do you know where liars go?
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Uncle:
I think the same place as murderers go. So u should be careful.
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Me:
Hah! I was just going to say that unless you had an eternal hankering to easily roast marshmallows, you should watch yourself.
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Uncle:
I don't really like marshmallows.
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Me:
Then maybe you should consider lying less. We don't want to piss Jesus off now, would we?
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Uncle:
No we don't.
