stoblog: Meursault - All Creatures Will Make Merry →
Christmas came for this author on Cinco de Mayo this year. For it was on this day that I received a brown paper wrapped package from the United Kingdom. It contained one standard post-card on which were pictures of what I could only ascertain were located in the former Soviet Union (one picture was a Monument to Lenin at Lenin Square). On the back of said postcard was a hand written note...
A case for Freedom Fries
ME: Mentally just snapped my fingers. All sassy like.
JOEL: Was it all like snap to the left, snap the the right, snap to the left? With opposite head movements?
ME: To the left only. With a side head bob.
JOEL: Ok ok, decent form. I'll give it a 9.3.
ME: Classy. Not ghetto.
JOEL: But the french judge doesn't like it.
ME: Damn. It's always the French isn't it?
JOEL: Always the french.
Zach Williams. Brilliant songwriter. Better when seen live. Also happens to be the guy who sings on Sundays.
Unless Your presence goes with us, do not lead us up from here. - Exodus 33 I spent years distancing myself from The Church. I couldn’t get behind the version of it I saw projected into homes across the country every Sunday between the hours of 9AM and 12:45. That version was slicked back and polished. It offered insight that lacked real depth. There was very little about what as said from...
on John Krasinkski - The Engagement - Pt. 2
me: watching The Office/grieving.
sUSA!n: me tooooooooo!
me: Emily Blunt? Really?! Emily Blunt doesn't have the patriotism he needs and deserves. I wonder if she's in it for the greencard.
sUSA!n: I bet you're right!! An arranged business deal.
me: a loveless marriage of convenience.
on John Krasinkski - Pt. 1
sUSA!n: What if we did a weekend vacation in Boston?? Southwest has a deal right now, at least from Midway in Chicago...I've never been to Boston. Have you guys?? I just want to meet Matt Damon AND JOHN KRASINSKI!!!!!!!
me: Doesn't our collective boyfriend have a girlfriend? Not that I wouldn't oogle him.... but I think John has found his real-world Pam and I for one, totally hate her. I have never been to Boston even though I have a cousin who lives there. Who else do we know who would host us and show us the pubs where all the cool kids hang out? Or, more specifically where I can find Krasinki's doorstep.
Christina: My sister in law just moved from there last year. Maybe I can quick try to be best friends with her friends.
sUSA!n: do we care that he has a girlfriend? First of all, she's british. So he's only in it for the accent. once that allure wears off and he realizes their offspring would have a jacked up mouth full of yellow teeth he'll move on. He'll then realize he wants a tall, strong-willed, educated Dutch woman who appreciates his height and wit. Someone who doesn't want to be in the spotlight but would rather have a beer and some french fries at a hole-in-the-wall pub by his parents house. Heck, invite the parents! We've been raised in a parent-friendly environment. I'd wow them with my knowledge of social work policy history, America's racist origins, and my love for the underdog (and HOT dogs). We're both the babies of the family, so John and I would bond over our childhoods filled with being overlooked, ignored, not taken seriously...only to grow up into over-acheivers who everyone likes better than their older siblings and who spell better and have better handwriting (a skill acquired during those afternoons alone, with only a Nintendo and a chalkboard to play with). We'd call Conan, a fellow-Bostonian to meet us for a hockey game, or a baseball game (it IS america's pasttime and i think i've already demonstrated my patriotism) and then have a potluck dinner, watching an America's Next Top Model marathon.
Christina: after reading that, I'm in.
me: I think this ranks up there with our plan to stake out Oprah's front lawn and read select passages from her Book Club books.
I am scrubbing the tub and he’s folding his clothes in the other room, packing for a weekend away. “You’re CLEANING?”, he yells. “It’s not even 7AM!” “I’m in the mood to clean”, I yell over my shoulder as I walk towards the kitchen to grab the brush. The one I prefer for tub cleaning. The one that would scrub the face right off of a...
when you don't have the easy answer.
It is easier to be funny than it is to be honest. To laugh and draw others in so that they smile beside you rather than look you directly in the eyes and ask, sincerely, how you are doing. The last few weeks haven’t been “fine”, even if that was my rote response to the question as it was asked. I wasn’t fine and things weren’t fine. Things were hard and complicated. I...
apropos of nothing at all...
I am not an “earing” girl. Don’t always wear them, don’t always notice them. But MY GOODNESS I would auction off my first child for several of these confections. One exception, however is this pair, which I think would make me look like Bat Boy.
wherein I suspect that I am dying
ME: Today at work I was super dizzy. I thought that maybe my blood sugar was low? But I wasn't hungry, so I drank a hot chocolate instead.
MED SCHOOL FRIEND: And?
ME: It didn't help! So then I Web MD'd it.
MED SCHOOL FRIEND: Never google your symptoms! You'll think your dying!!!
ME: I totally did. And I decided that I had an inner ear thing that was going to plague me for the rest of my life. Or, a brain tumor. But then I started trying to figure out the last time I drank some water....
MED SCHOOL FRIEND: You are not telling me this. On some of the hottest days of the year, you haven't been drinking water?
ME: Sunday.... no wait...Monday. I had some on Monday.
MED SCHOOL FRIEND: IT'S WEDNESDAY!!! So you've been drinking what? Juice, coffee and beer??
ME: Ummm yes. Pretty much exactly that. So anyway, I drank some water and 20 minutes later ALL BETTER! Not dying!!
MED SCHOOL FRIEND: *eye roll*
My Brother and I used to play a game. I’d point to a chair. “THIS IS...– The History of Love
I love Hill Harper from the depths of my soul/loins/in the moment.– CHANEL GRAHAM Quite literally made me giggle out loud.
I am trying to swear less. All of which was fine and dandy until I lopped off part of my finger last night whilst playing around with my brand new mandoline. See how fierce that thing looks? It will completely own your apendages if you’re not careful. It’s important to be careful. Even when you find yourself to be completely and totally enamored by the cute little cucumber slices that...
Qi - Circulating life energy that is thought to be...
This morning I glanced over at my desk, spied my beloved Scrabble board and thought “You know what? I’m going to memorize the two letter words and their meanings. That would be awesome. I would be totally unstoppable.” I don’t think that I’ve ever divulged my nerd-like love for Scrabble in this forum, but in my family it is an acknowledged fact that I don’t...
riding the G train
The F train, as it has a tendency to do on the weekends, was running on a different track. It was because of this, that I was sitting on the G train heading towards Metropolitan Avenue where I could transfer to the L. The point isn’t the route I was taking, the point is this: I wasn’t where I would usually be at 6:15 on a Sunday night. A dad and his two kids climbed on board. They...
Arbitrary rules that I abide by
I don’t friend request people that I’ve only met once. I may have an epic-sized friend crush. The sort of friend crush that has me envisioning a future where I’ll be known as Aunt Sarah and live down the street and it will be ahhhhhmaaazing. Even then, even under such extreme circumstances of friend-crushery, I’ll resist the urge to contact them first. No one likes a...
For the last two mornings, I’ve walked out my door, smelled the ocean and thought “I am so, obscenely lucky.”
NY Philharmonic in the park. One of those”this is why i moved here” nights.
Problem: I like Fritos.
Some background: my mom has both hyperthyroidism and fibromyalgia. Two conditions that are, conveniently enough, inheritable. Which means that if you consider the symptoms and causes, I’m predisposed to having one or both at some point in the future. I’ve never gotten my thyroid checked, mostly as a function of not really wanting to know the answer. Also, I have this inexplicable fear...
ooof. About 30 different things I would buy in a minute: http://www.allsaints.com/ That Bedouin Scarf? Bananas.
Do you love Bocce Ball and/or me? Of course you do. Come watch Ball Stars (that’s us!) vs. Fill or Kill tonight @ Floyd Bar - 9PM. #FB
Plus when I get out [of the Air Force. Not jail.] I’ll be 29 and have a...– DEREK POND One of my best friends from high school and personal favorite of my parents. We promised to marry by 30 or 35 I think.
Ingredients: Baguette or baguette-like bread roll (I used a Portuguese something or other) Lemon Curd (this stuff is the consistency of key lime pie and comes in a jelly jar) Prosciutto Parmesan Cheese (the real stuff not the grated kind) Fresh Basil Olive Oil Balsamic Vinegar Instructions: 1. Cut the bread in half and drizzle each side with olive oil 2. Throw it in a toaster or oven and let it...
I invented a sandwich tonight that might actually hold the secret to world peace. It’s just that good.
Andre is busy sawing things. I’m busy pretending that moral support also qualifies as”doing something”. #FB
Stuck in traffic on the Garden State Parkway. That won’t stop us from shaking it like a polaroid picture.
At the boardwalk. I just demanded that my little cousin win me a puppy.
Dear sweet baby Jesus in your little baby manger, I would very much like a house on the beach. Amen. #FB
I’m just doing the earth a favor - Dad, on eating Sun Chips
this is the stuff novelty T's are made of.
Me: I bet Farrah would wear mango-mango.
Rob: Too soon?
Me: Probably too soon.
Me: But it was that or a W.W.F.F.D joke, and that seemed more wronger.
A homeless man just propositioned me by announcing he was ready to “make looooove.”
*sigh* My word, I love them.
for my dad
Listening to a voicemail left by my Dad last night, I heard a slight catch in his voice. He’d just landed in Austin on a business trip and I didn’t have the chance to talk to him before he got on the plane. Instead he left me a voicemail to remind me how proud he is of all of us. Voicemails like these aren’t atypical. As easily as he communicates his love for us, it is also true...
Some suggest the protests will fade because nobody is leading them. All those...– http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/jun/19/iran-election-mousavi-ahmadinejad
we love eachother, I swear.
Uncle: Hey crazy lady, r u coming out this weekend?
Uncle: Excellent! Don't forget to bring me a nice gift for Father's day.
Me: Will do! Can't wait for my birthday present either!
Uncle: Is your birthday this weekend too?
Me: No you missed it. But I will assume you were just holding onto my present until the next time you saw me.
Uncle: I believe we already sent u a card full of money.
Me: Do you know where liars go?
Uncle: I think the same place as murderers go. So u should be careful.
Me: Hah! I was just going to say that unless you had an eternal hankering to easily roast marshmallows, you should watch yourself.
Uncle: I don't really like marshmallows.
Me: Then maybe you should consider lying less. We don't want to piss Jesus off now, would we?
Uncle: No we don't.
bad T.V. + me = loooove.
It’s not a secret that I love The Bachelorette. Or, perhaps more acurately really bad reality television. In the short time we’ve been roommates I’ve managed to turn Andre into a companion consumer. So while we may be rotting our brains, we’re doing it together… somehow this makes it seem less pathetic. Still, we both recognize it for the garbage that it is. We...